Went out at midnight with a bicycle.

Wah... That not cool seriously. Every time I will very nervous when I cycle with my course mate in the big road outside our garden. They live so far away from our college and they need a bicycle to class, otherwise they will late to class... Every time when I was at their house, they will always go out and some time no choice I need to follow. Because of some issue. And that issue is scary too, some time I don wish to happen and it happen. Today is Friday, Pyramid is a very scary place when midnight. I was so scare that I was cycled with my mate and a lot of people drunk there, they drive very fast and some of them don't even see us. Or maybe the bicycle is too tall for me too so I can't break some times. I can't imagine if I have an accident here what will happen going on... Just don't think too much and think positive...

I think I'm jealous?

I know I am not a guy in our family.

I just a little girl, and can't speak out sometime.

But I already use to it.

What to do?

They don't accept what girl opinion.

OK. Fine!!!

But why always I am the last one who get it?

But why so unfair?

But why always I am the last one?

But why always I am the loser!?

But why always I use people's old thing?

Why?

I don't want to be a loser anymore!

I am not a rubbish bin!!!

I am not that kind and friendly anymore!

Maybe that call jealous!!!

But if you all don't wish to have a girl in your family.

PLEASE DON'T BORN ME OUT!!!!!!

You know what?

I always act that I'm happy, friendly,nothing,don care and nice in front of you all.

I feel I am so tired.

Sorry, I am not that happy and good ok?

Start now, if you all don respect me, then I am fine.

I won't respect you all too loh....

This is what you all want right?

OK... I understand what should I do now.

Maybe!!!!

Maybe that not true...

Maybe I just feel lonely...

Maybe I nothing to do...

Maybe I think too much...

Maybe I should reject it...

Maybe I should accept it...

Maybe make it naturally...

Maybe stop being a good friend...

Maybe stop thinking...

Maybe should tell him/her....

Maybe and Maybe...

But now,

I really don't know.

What can I do!!!!

Since when?

Don't know since when I treat him so good.

And many people start to incredulous about that.

What will happen coming on.....

No one will know.

He seen like not care and very blur.

Does he really understand or just act like don't know nothing?

The whole brain is him.

Angry him always forget his promised.

Since when I start to miss him?

I can't concentrate on my study now.

That too annoying.

I hate it......

First day of 3rd semester!!!!

Went to class today at 10am.

What is my feeling of today?

Excited? Nervous? Happy?

No!!!! I am worrying....

Will I going to meet a same things like last semester?

I am scare!!!!

What can I do?

I think a lot today.

They had a lunch together but I din't join.

I feel like I need to keep away from them.

Is it because of I am scare to get hurt again?

I don't know.

I feel stress and tension.

This is what my feeling now..

Just now, I went dinner with my orientation friends, that we had been together for one year.

Xiow Yin is a friend that with a same birthday with me.

She asked me, when she looked my side face.

She feel that I am lonely and unhappy, asked me is it everything ok?

I answered yes!!!! I just woke up.. no worry, I am fine here.

I believe that she know what happened to me, because I told her before.

Ya!!! She is right! I am sad here. And worrying a lot of things...

Oh God!!! Please help me..... What should I do?

What is the next step?

Going back!!!

Later 145 pm train.

Going back with bro.

Will meet yee at KL Central.

Always after semester break, I will always don wish to go back.

I feel I not brave and scare everything.

Because some of my friends there are very scary.

And gave them hurt a lot.

I know I should be strong and tough, but I really can't do it.

I always just act happy and fake smile with them.

They really thought me that I am really happy.

Nowadays din't sleep well, because there really stress.

There really a stressful and scary life.

What can I do is only can protect my own self there.

I already grown up, I shouldn't always dependent people as he said.

My Sassy girl...

What a touch movie? Today I watch america style" My Sassy Girl" movie.

It talk about he had a girlfriend that very silly and crazy. Do what she want. In this movie I am so pity about that guy. They love each other, but previously, the girl can't forget her Ex boyfriend so she drunk and meet the guy. In this story, they have a very happy ending and it compare with Korea style it doesn't. Korea one got 2 part, first is talk about how her boyfriend die because she misunderstanding to shoot him as a thief and second part is talk about he meet a guy look likes her EX. Actually they are the same story, just the ending different. For my comment, I like Korea one.. Because it show a lot, it more touch that America style one... I can see it. The theme of this movie, is talk about the guy how he loves her girlfriend and even how her girlfriend was so barbarous to him. That a really touch story. I cried in the ending. I can't stop my tear. I love this movie, of cause I wish to have a boyfriend like him. That so sweet.

Now....

Now I should put more effort to my project and assignment...

Coming the new semester.

Stop playing already.

Passed is passed.

I want hardcore, I want everything hardcore.

Never mind that they don't treat me good or treat me as a friend.

I don't care, I know who is my real friends.

Who put heart on me.

Thanks friends.

I know what should I do now.

I am ready to face it.

and

solve it.

Sometime really wish to give up!!!

Human being is so scary now.

Even man , woman or my classmate.

I am getting start to scare them.

New semester is coming soon.

Going back to Sunway soon.

But now I really feel stress the life there.

Yan had gave up.

Should I?

The life there are so crazy and silly.

They even don't care your dying or living there.

At there sometime is really hard to find a real friends there.

Even u bring your heart to friend with them, maybe they aren't.

They always said "you should say out! Let us know what are you thinking."

But I prefer I just keep quiet and talking nothing there.

This is what I want.

In my patient, I already live there have been one year.

In this short one year, I really learned a lot of things.

I know how to protect myself and see through all friends who is a right friend.

Thanks God!!!! He guard me, He lead me.

I understand I should stand straight and look clear.

The end of this semester, really thanks her to helped me.

I am so glad to have a friend like her. Thanks Yik Hua.

Between that, I knew I had a group of selfish friends.

They din't even care about me.

Why should I live because of them.

They are really bullshit.

So what. huh?

I should live with those people who treat me right.

Forget about who don't.

Life is short. Art is long.

This is what my lecturer- Daniel told me.

Live because of own-self.

Create more art and design.

Make the world full of art and design.

Do what you want to do and what you thinking now.

Why are you still sitting there.?

Come on!!! Moving!!!!

And stop the give up thinking.....