Stop thinking you anymore...

You really hurt my broken heart... You really did a lot of things made the world to hate you... How come I so stupid went to helped you to explain to them... You said they betrayed you, but the person who betrayed one is me ok? What you did, please ask back yourself,think it back. How you treat me? How you hurt me? How you betrayed me? How you break my broken heart again? Think it back and the anti-you to wake up.. Stop doing that... But what I had said and told you, you won't listen anymore. You made me cried three days three night, you know how hurt my broken heart in three days? Paper can stick back if it broke but my heart nothing can stick it back... Ya, can said that I am stupid that time... I believe to you, you really clever in acting... I am so admire you in that... I am lose!!! Happy??? I may god bless me to forget you as fast as possible. I believe god will understand me too. Ya the lord will forgive people who did something wrong,but I can't forgive myself. Maybe you will or you don't mind. I can't believe I cried in front of my mum too because of you. Ya, I am always strong in anythings and even how sad and how weak am I , I also won't cry in front of her. But this time, I can't do it. my mum comfort me to stop thinking you anymore and ignore you. I won't let her see me cry because of you again. I pressed delete and I wish to say goodbye to you. I want to start my new life here, ignore you maybe a good way... Maybe you really hate me that I went to let the whole world know your bad things. I just wanna tell you I really did nothing and even what had happened to you in camp I also don't know, how you betrayed me I also don't know. What a funny things? I love you but how you love me? If I really did somethings wrong to you, I just can apologize here. I asked myself 10 times? What i had did to made you betrayed me? I still can't understand. Is time to wake up, and I will tell myself that was a dream and it won't happen again.

I miss him~

Playing facebook in my lovely room... Drawing figure on my table... Listening song from my laptop... Don't know what happened to me in this afternoon, i miss him.... i miss him lot... Always see him got online in facebook and MSN or not. But he wasn't there, when click home in my facebook i saw his picture again. The tear wet my eyes again. The sweet memories come out in my mind again. He was a cute and good boyfriend that I had. He was the understanding boyfriend that I had. Now only know I haven forget him, why our ending will make me become like now? He seem like very happy and enjoy his life, but I'm not. I'm still tie myself in a coner. So wish to ask him "How are you now? Is it everything fine there?" So wish that to care him like last time. But I know it will not happen anymore. When I'm alone so wish he is here with me, when I'm sad wish he will cry with me and touch my face n eyes. When I'm happy, we can happy together. How about you? Did you think like that before? ^^

I HATE MYSELF!!!!!!

Don't know why.. I feel that I very hate myself now... Remember that I was top 3 in class when i was in primary school, but now look at my result???.. I went for piano class when i was young until F5, even now one song also can't play well... Went for guzheng class when i was in F2,when I want to play a song but the string break... Went for chinese calligraphy and painting when i was in F1, even now i also can't write my chinese name nicely in calligraphy... Went for violin class when I was in F4, even now how to play a song also can't... Went for art class in F5,find out that I love art and design, and won some prices in other college... NOW!!! look at me??? Break up in every relationship... Study in The One Academy of Communication Design. My dream college now, even now I can't do well in my artwork... I am really useless in this world................... AND I'm lost............... Where am I now?????

So HAPPY ~

YEAH~ Finally went to cut my hair and rebonding luh. New look now , but mummy said very weird wor and looks like small girl... She suggests my hair like last time better. But I don't want, because I wanna change a new look. Hehe after cutting I felt happy alot. Don't know why, I like my childish style now...^^ hehe looks younger than my sister already...

Home sweet Home~

Raining heavily outside. Song of rain outside my window. The cold wind blowing in to my lovely room. Made my room freezing. Time passed so fast, one semester had finish in a short three month, talked with mum dad and aunt just now. Cried in front of them, they comfort me to be strong, no one can help me in this situation. God please bless me forget every things that happened in this 3 month. And please forgive me what i had did. Wish i can stand up straight again as last time. Felt better after crying in front of them, felt better after they comfort me, felt better after their advice. No one can help me, I need to wake up and do somethings now. Everyone knows that I can do it. And they really understand I am strong by the way, but I have no confident. I need to find it back in this short three month. I know I can do it. YA!!! Only ME can help myself. I will be back...

Time really passed so FAST!!!

One week almost finish... Still gt one more day then i can relax a bit. But not totally can relax all because still need to take exam .. HAIZ~ feel better after talk with mum and sis... Now the only way i can do one is study hard and don't thnik a lot of stupid things again. No suffer in relationship, No suffer in Friendship ,No suffer in Study, No suffer in Money. GAMBATTE!!! Don't think so much oo....

Quite a SAD DaY!!!!

Didn't have sunny sky. Didn't have blue sky. Didn't have confident.Didn't have mood to class too...Too sad that you said that to me. I really hate your attitude, WHAT THE???? Many things happened, i was in call with Bryan. And i post status to Raymond and asked him where he is? Because I can't see him online. He sms me , and I told him I beh tahan, really wanna to kill myself already. HAIZ really stress here that time many things haven settle now. Raymond non stop called me in skype and found me in MSN. Hang Xing and Jia Ying very worry me that time.But i put busy and I was away and having my Phone. I cried again. no mood to smile at all. Thanks Bryan to make me happy when I need him. The door suddenly knock, Jim and Shen were outside. What happened??? Really scare them already that time... But feel happy that they came and see me. I locked myself in my room the whole day. Din't came out at all... RUSHING assignment... MISSING someone... WANNA someone can give me a hug... WANNA someone can feel my heart now. I watched a movie to relax myself after my class but i cried again. Because think him back. I really cannot watch romantic movie anymore, because I will cry again..............

WHAT HAPPENED????

988 with me the whole mid-night. Money not enough use also,finding part time job to earn money. Academic writing makes me cannot breath already. WHAT HAPPENED in this month???? I HATE SEMESTER BREAK!!!! NO MONEY USE!!! FINAL ASSIGNMENT!!!! PRESENTATION!!!!! EXAM!!!!!! @.@ AHHHHHHH~~~~~ I am getting mad already....... Can you give me a really break??? I really need it. Feel wanna cry here, I need your hug and shoulder. Do you know that? Can you cry with me like last time? Do you remember that moment you were crying with me? T_____T

Killed by ACADEMIC WRITING!!!!!

Academic writing, presentation,exam killing me now.... The stress makes me always dream scary dream and cannot sleep well.... The stress makes my hormone mess up... The stress makes me got a lot pimples... The stress makes my hair fall like i get cancer... The stress makes me always fall sick... The stress makes me wanna kill myself... ＨＥＬＰ　ＭＥ！！！！T_____T...

Feel better a lot!!! ＹＥＡＨ！！！～

Have a nice day and happy day here. Woke up 9 today. After washed up myself then walked to class. Although wore not very nice but when i stepped out my darkness hades, I saw the sun was smiling to me. The blue sky said hello to me. The wind gave me a morning kiss. That moment I felt I really enter a wonderful world and no worries. I brought my smile to class today, very happy in class and I am back. The noisy and talkative Binbin is back. I laughed a lot in class today. My classmate thought I was crazy. Until now got Raymond accompany me...THANKS RAYMOND!!!

Memories~

Wind blowing outside. Leaves singing and dancing there. 988 with me and Jane. Talked back our childhood and the memories in our mind. That was a sad memories, she cried. I gave her a piece of tissue and she wipe it. I opened my friends picture and tell her about them. I type [ jee....] and press enter. And told Jane he gt pimples already. This is his mum and so on... Keep clicking next next... And tell her about his story. The tear wet my eyes. I said stop we go see other people one. After that, we continue our story. I had a happy and good childhood , i miss it and wanna back too. Jane said she don't want. I understand her situation . Everyone has their own background , although my background not that bad and my tear wet my eyes again. Finished the story, we talked about our EX and boyfriends. I asked Jane "I still don't understand why he treat me like that. For you, do you think the problem is came out from you?" She answered me " That passed! no one will know, he is the only one will know. For me, I don't think I was wrong last time." My mind keep coming out his picture again, almost one month already. How is him now? Does him take care of himself? Does him fall sick again? I saw him last time I really wish to be with him. My heart really felt pain that time. OVER ALWAYS IS OVER!!!! He won't remember the memories of us anymore...........................

Sick again!!!!

"knock knock" "knock knock"... Alarm clock cannot woke me up this morning.Jane woke me up and she was ready to go her class... Toby and Joyce din't go class too. Everyone sicked in the hot cold weather. And me too... HEADACHE!!!! HEADACHE!!!! SORE THROAT !!!! SORE THROAT!!! and now FLU already. HA Chu!!! Ha Chu!!! =S but still need to rush the academic writing. Force myself to finish half set today... The door locked. I locked myself in the darkness room again. Alice bring me to wonderland again.....

==....!!!!!

Headache!!!! Headache!!! Study skill haven finish... Went to 7-eleven , bought fish ball and fried sausage bread... Same!!! Din't change at all...still like sausage... I step out the darkness room and try to get well better...Daddy and mummy gave me energy this afternoon, they gave me to support from the heart... I stood under the coconut tree with the light, the wind blow to me i closed my eyes...enjoy the feel without stress there... look up to the sky, the stars smile with me. No car on the road. Everyone is sleeping with the dream. In street 18, saw a guy with his desktop. He looks stress and without cloth. The street without any voice, listened to the leaves singing under the dark black blue sky. The cat was looking at me in the brushwood and I enter the "wonderland" again!!!

Say hello to natural n__n!!!

When having figure exam!!! =(

OMG!!! I was lated to woke up this morning... Feel empty and sat on my bed...What the stupid feeling again... My leg feel better alot...hehehe can walk better... Walked to class saw one old man and a beautiful and look like very peace lady manikin there... I found a place and sat down... CK and Ivan came and fixed the DAVID manikin...Haiz super tired and moody to draw there... Listened to 988 this time...A lady DJ said teenager should not drink alot of alcohol and it will influence our brain and will makes us easier to forget thing...That time i though about him that he told me he easier to forget thing and he drunk alot of alcohol too...=3=... WHAT THE????? I hate to draw DAVID's hair lah...really want to help him cut to botak already...TT

Manikin DAVID...T_____T

CRYING NOW!!! T_____T

I am in FB now. Click back to home, i saw his picture there. My naughty finger go and click in and i view his picture...T___T....Wow my tear dropping very fast. I saw his face got alot of pimples already. Is it very stress in study? Sometimes i will ask myself , how are you now? Is it everything ok? The heart still cannot let go, mind still thinking about him. Housemate Alex asked me to delete his FB and MSN... But i din't because i still miss him, and i told myself maybe he will find me back.. No one know... But i sure he won't because too understand his temper already. Raymond keep comfort me.. thanks alot... Listening the fan tuning silently, my mind none stop thinking about him... I really tried my best to forget him... May god bring me out...

HAPPY ＦＡＭＩＬＹ！！！＾＿＿＿＿＾

The earth rotates the sun... Time passed so fast... Fee sis went back to San Francisco and Yin sis going back soon at 530pm. Cannot say goodbye to them. Even face to face have a last dinner also don't have... When i was born they always take care about me little sister here. Although always scolded me, but now even talk also less. Because everyone go different places to study, assignment a lot... Cannot back hometown to accompany them, is it arranged by god? When we still can meet? When we still can sleep on the same bed? When we can talk about secret? When we still can play hug hug? When we still can cook together? One year later? Two year? Three year? or Four year?

I think i am there already. Time is separating us... T____T...I will miss you all here...

HAPPY FAMILY ^___^

BLUR @__@

Came back from church... I start my life and try to go church... Enjoy the moment in church... It make me feel without worries and stress there... Leg still pain,haven get well yet. But today no mood and feel out of confident. Didn't pay attention in church, worry many thing there... Tomorrow need to take figure exam...So i practiced CK asked us to draw the 3 portrait, suddenly feel like wanna see his facebook... i typed his name and press ‘ ENTER'. When i get in, my tear like two small river flow down from my eyes on my face... Why i still so stupid? Why i still want to miss him... Even my sister asked me who is him, i said don't bother just read what i wrote... Everyday when i feel emo , his picture came out from my mind and those happy , sweet memories make me cried again. Go out accompany my housemate take dinner in 'Ming Tian', the cars came forward me and i feel like wanna close my eyes and walk on the road. But luckly Jane pull me back. What happened to me , on the way home, i said to jane : "i feel like stand on top of the tower there." STRESS here!!! I just want some one to hug and borrow his shoulder to me. Why no one here can do this to me?

Sad Love Quotes

I really so bad??? Is it my life here? I feel like doing nothing, and very useless here. I hate myself sometimes, think back when I was in F4 and F5. I always think positive but now I din't do that before. Always in negative ways. When i need friends all like running away from me , my friendship is it got so bad? Classmate like not really like me , some of my housemate also . What happened?? What i did? Lonely here... no one listen to me, super moody here. And i always lock myself in a coner room. I really sad here......... T________T

Headache already... still feel like don't want to take a rest. Many assignment still haven finish...MY FM accompany me the whole lonely night. Mind still thinking the same things, still haven can let it go. What can i do now? FORCED , TRIED , PUSHED , CRIED already. NO USE at all....

The sun going to say hello to everyone!! =)

Everyone is sleeping... Birds are going to have their worm breakfast soon... MY FM still working there... The earth rotates the sun...The sun rising soon... Silently~ heard a lot of people sleeping in the peace... They are having a sweet dream now... My laptop still working with me... The fan is turned on in a quiet place... I opened the window,and I closed my eyes. The wind blowing me and feel like flying in the sky lightheartedly ...without borders, and no worries.

MOODY!!! =(

Outside is raining now, standing in front of the window silently. My heart raining also and my tear suddenly drop down,my feeling telling me that i still miss him. Feel very lonely here,wish have a hug now.Almost going to one month,i tried my best to put him down and let him go...listening to MY FM. Those DJ are talking about couple breaking. More hurt, none stop thinking him. Feel sorry to myself always make myself hurt. I need his support here, want to know is him still love me? Wish to know nothing better.